My Story.....

MY STORY.....

If you have read my previous post, then you will no doubt have a better understanding of what your about to read. I'm going to share with you a letter I wrote around 2006, in which I sent to over 250 Jehovah's Witness families that we had considered to be our friends. This included all family members who were Jehovah's Witness as well. Keep in mind when reading this letter, it was written for members within the Jehovah's Witness organization. So the terminology may not be clear to you, but as you read it, it should make enough sense that you will understand what your reading. Also, in 2006, the internet was just becoming a information search tool, and that was how I was able to check what they were printing in their literature against the sources they sited, to support their doctrines. What I found was shocking to say the least!!  It's also the reason I have never regretted my decision to leave. 

Here's "My Story..."

Dear Friends,

I hope this letter finds you and your loved ones both happy and well. It has been a long time since we have seen many of you, yet some we seem to run into all of the time. When we do, some of you still are very happy to see us, but many are unsure how to react, and yet others seemed scared to death. So we decided to put your mind at ease and clear a few things up. Please be assured that we were encouraged by the Elders to contact everyone we know in order to clear things up some time ago. It seemed like a daunting task and that it would probably fall on deaf ears. But because of recent events we have decided to follow their advice.

Some of you are already aware, but many of you don’t know that a month ago we had our home egged and vandalized by 3 active Jehovah’s Witnesses, who were at our Witness neighbor’s home on New Years Eve. When these men found out they were caught in the act, they all 3 came forward and admitted their involvement. When asked why they did this, two of them confessed it was because they were frustrated we had left the organization. Yet in two years, these men had never once called us to even see WHY we left. So they took it upon themselves to punish us. They will have to answer for their actions, but the fact remains that they broke the law, and worse yet, they broke Jehovah’s law of love.

We are sure you have heard many very terrible things about Mark and I. Sadly though I can count on one hand those who have actually called us to see if the gossip they have been hearing is even true. Human nature is such that it is far more exciting to pass on what has been heard rather then to take the uncommon Christian route and stop the gossip from spreading. So now, we would like to set the record straight, for all of you. This way you can hear it directly from us for once, rather then not knowing who or what to believe.

As most of you know both Mark & I were raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses. Mark was a Ministerial Servant for many years, and we were both in good standing and very active in the congregation, including having book study for some time in our home. Even after my parents had pulled away from the organization, we continued, firmly planted in our beliefs.

Yet little did we know our whole world as we knew it was going to change. Most of you probably have formed an opinion that it was my parents that pulled us away from the organization. In fact, even some of our own family members have spread this untruth, out of denial for the real reason we have left, as it is much easier to blame them, then to accept the truth.

The things I am about to tell you will be very different from what you have heard. I hope you will discard all the other things you have been told and from this point forward, please, if you hear something, call us to find out if it is true, before you pass on the gossip you have heard.

Our Story:

One day, before the summer assembly, my parents informed me that they had serious doubts. They tried to explain to me why they had not been at the meetings in so long. This would be the very first time in all my life that they would not be attending the summer convention. I felt like I had been run over by a bus! They felt that we as their children, had the right to know why they had been pulling away, as I was always trying to get out of them what the real reason was. Little did I know that they were afraid to tell us for fear we would never have anything to do with them again if they told us. As they talked to me, I listened with disbelief, their voices became only a hum and blur in my mind. They had been the pillars to our whole family, and in my mind those pillars had just crumbled. From then on, my world as I have always known it, was never the same.

From time to time I would talk with my parents, begging them to reconsider, trying to reason with them from the literature. But I didn’t know how to handle the questions they had, even though I knew they were sincere. Since I couldn’t answer them and because we are all taught to believe that anyone who has doubts must be an "apostate", I followed what I had been trained to do. I told them that I never wanted to talk about it again, to never bring it up unless I had questions for them. It was just far too painful to try so hard to bring them back around, with all the serious questions that they had, that I didn’t know how to answer.

Basically I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted it to go away, and for things to be the way they used to be. They promised they would never ever bring any of this up again, and so that is the way things remained for about 2 years. But the one thing I remembered, out of everything we discussed before I cut off spiritual conversation with them, was the whole question of the 607 date which the Society is constantly referring to. I remember my mother telling me about all the different lines of evidences that do not support 607. She told me to check out the British Museum online. So I did. Sure enough the date given there was 586/587 and not 607, which I was always taught, and had taught others. But a quick look at the Kingdom Come books Appendix’s explanation put my mind at ease. I pushed the subject out of my mind, but it came back another day about 2 years later.

Most of you are familiar with the movie National Treasure. Well, I loved it. After we saw it the first time I was telling my manicurist how great it was and a little about it. She informed me that there really are Freemasons. I was surprised. It made sense though, as to what all those Masonic Temples were that I had seen in various places over the years. Like I do with any movie I love, I generally see it twice. While watching the movie for the second time, I kept in mind that Freemasons were very real, and most likely the symbols used in the movie were real as well. While watching this time, two things struck me. First, the “Cross and the Crown” symbol, that was once on our literature was in the movie. And second, the Pyramid with the “All Seeing Eye” that is on the dollar bill, that too was on something years ago, wasn't it? I wondered.

On the way home we all talked about the movie, and the symbols on the dollar bill. How funny that we use this paper everyday, yet how many of us really take the time to look at it. When you do, is only natural to ask what do these symbols mean? So when we got home Ashley and her Witness friend decided to look up on the computer what the dollar bill symbols meant. I insisted on overseeing what it is they were looking at, as we all know how dangerous the Internet can be. When they got done, it was my turn at the computer. It was quite interesting just what all those symbols meant. As I pondered the dollar bill, once again, I wondered about those two questions I had from the movie: What about the cross and the crown? What does that mean? And why would it have been on the old literature? The same goes for the question of the “Pyramid and the All Seeing Eye”.

That night I called my mother. I said, “I have a question for you. Was there ever a pyramid on any of the older literature?” She said, "Yes, in the Divine Plan of the Ages, it has a whole pull out chart in the book." She said she actually had a copy of that book at home. Realizing that these were symbols of the Freemasons, I asked if Russell was a Freemason. She said, "There is much speculation about it. But if he wasn't, he sure spoke of them frequently calling them friends and used a lot of their symbols in the publications." So I said, " OK. Thank you." Although I knew she must be wondering why I was asking such questions, we never discussed anything more about it. That was the end of that conversation.

Before I go on, I want to say that I felt comfortable in researching on the Internet because of articles such as the one in the June 2002 Watchtower on page 14 & 15 which states:

[Box on page 15]

“In Our Hands”

“If we want . . . a concordance to the Bible, we can find no better medium than the Internet. But if we want to read the Bible, to study it, think about it, reflect upon it, we should have it in our hands, for that is the only way of getting it into our minds and our hearts.”—Gertrude Himmelfarb, distinguished professor emeritus, City University, New York

So.. carefully, I began searching on the computer for Charles Taze Russell and Freemasons. To my disbelief, I found many disturbing things, photos of Russell’s gravesite, with the Masonic temple in full view, as well as his headstone and the Pyramid itself that Russell had the Bible students erect. What was all of this fascination of the Pyramid anyway? Well, I soon discovered, it’s called Pyramidology, and it is HEAVILY steeped in Demonism/Spiritism. If you look up Pyramidology at the library, the only place to find it is under the “occult” section. I still get goose bumps when I think of what I read that night!

What was Russell doing involved with Freemason symbols, as well as Pyramidology??? Through the Internets Google search engine, I discovered that one of the things that Russell based 1914 off the measurements of the inside of the Great Pyramid of Giza. WHAT???!!!?? I asked myself! You have got to be kidding me?? I thought 1914 was based on 607. It had to be a coincidence! What we have been taught, and teach others about 607 could not have roots in Pyramidology!?? Does it?

So, getting out both sets of Encyclopedias we had, I found only 586/587 for the destruction of Jerusalem not 607! I looked in the Insight book, the Daniel book.... They all read 607! Then it all came back to me. I remembered my conversation with my mother many, many month’s prior, when I had gone to the British Museum online. So, I visited the Museum online once again. 586/587! The ONLY place I found 607 was in the Society’s literature! Once again, the feeling of shock came over me. By now it was 2 or 3 in the morning. I just could not believe it! Could what my parents were trying to tell me be true?? After all they had NEVER lied to me.

So.. Around 4:00 am I tried to slip into bed without Mark knowing I had never made it to bed to begin with. But he knew I had been up all night. He said, "What have you been doing all night?" I said, "Oh, just some research". When we finally got up I decided to share with him what I had discovered. He said, "Did you go to the Watchtower Library CD? I said, "No, I forgot about that." So he quickly pulled up the only reference to the discrepancy the Society gives ... the Appendix to the Kingdom Come book.

After reading it to me, and doing the simple math of 539 minus 70 years, equals 607, I thought, OK?? I was RELIEVED!!! For I knew that if 607 was not factual, my world as I knew it would come crashing down. I knew how crucial this date was to our teachings, as you must have 607 because it is the very foundation to proving it is God’s chosen organization. As the months went by, it haunted me that the only place I found support for 607 was in the Societies literature, and no where else was there any other support for 607. It continued to bother me until I finally decided I had to put it to rest and finally find the needed proof for 607. So, I continued to try to find support for 607. But, the more I searched, the more the evidence continued to mount for the 586/587 date.

I started talking to Mark about it again. He pretty much brushed it off, but I couldn’t. I was desperate to find something, somewhere out there to prove that what we were teaching and being taught was in fact the right date. More than once I pleaded with him and more then once to the point of tears. I just needed confirmation of 607, that it was indeed factual. I was fearful to tell anyone of my concerns other then my husband because I knew I would be expected to ignore my concerns, or be looked at with great suspicion if I continued to have questions. I was afraid to let anyone know I was having questions. Surely anyone who knew of my questions would automatically blame my parents, rather then believe how I came to have my own questions. I feared that it would be taken that I was questioning the Organization, and I knew that you could have questions, but you could not question the answers. So, as hard as it was I kept this to myself. Mark seemed irritated that I wouldn't let it go and forget the whole date thing, but I could not sweep it under the carpet. I knew the gravity of what it meant if it wasn't true.

So… One Saturday he once again agreed to help me. And once again he used the Kingdom Come Appendix. He confidently said, " I don't see what’s so difficult to understand"?? He again simply went back the 70 years from 539 like the Appendix says to do. He didn’t yet understand you could not find support for 607 outside the Societies literature. So I said to him, “No, prove it to me without using any of the Societies literature." He confidently said, "Ok."

After about 5 hours, and after much study of the scriptures themselves, comparing it with the Kings lists, he could see that 586/587 was the match, not 607! He could not believe it! He just sat there in disbelief. He knew what this would mean. If 607 is wrong then 1914 is wrong, if 1914 is wrong then the date1919 when the organization says Jesus chose them as the faithful slave is wrong. He finally realized the problem I was having of "Cognitive Dissonance". The dictionary explains it as – “to have anxiety that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or incompatible beliefs.” After that realization, every meeting became more and more difficult. We found it harder and harder to sit there knowing what we knew, and to have to keep it all bottled up inside. Never did we realize how frequently the date 607 was taught from the literature and the meetings.

Mark privately disclosed to his mother what we had found. After much inquiring, she confided to us that her own Sister, Marks Aunt, and her Husband, who live in California, had also discovered the same things. We were shocked. She also told us that her own Father, Gene Planque, admitted years ago that he felt there was something terribly wrong with the dates. From that time forward both Marv and Charmayne continued to bring up the subject whenever they were around either Mark or I. We had made it very clear that we feared this getting out, yet they always reassured us they would keep our concerns to themselves. They knew we feared that we would be disfellowshipped and or labeled “apostates” for questioning the organization. That in itself, really bothered us. Why can you ask those in the ministry to examine their faith, yet I had to be afraid to question mine. What’s worse is if anyone found out I was having questions I would be labeled. That was a red flag for us.

Shortly after we returned from a vacation together, Charmayne told me some of the friends had been asking about us. Instead of keeping to herself what was said in confidence, she told a whole group what we had discovered. When I found out what she had done, in a very unkind manner she let me know that that she would tell whoever she chose to tell regardless of the consequences. (I will not repeat to you, the words she used to me.) I am sure you can all guess what that did to our relationship. If Marks parents truly felt we were in danger, would not the proper most loving course have been to take it to the proper Elders, then leave it there, rather then tell everyone as much as they could? As parents ourselves who dearly love our child, we will never understand the course they chose to take.

Because of that course, it is the very starting point of all the gossip, slander and lies. Eventually, the Elders were moved to come for a visit. We were afraid to tell them of our findings, and so at that point we were pretty evasive as to what our real issues were. Funny thing is they never brought up 607, so neither did we. They read some scriptures, prayed with us, and encouraged us to come back to meetings. They hugged us both, and off they went.

I want to make it clear, we NEVER told the Elders not to return! Unfortunately though, that was not what began to circulate. We had always thought that Elders visits were kept private, boy, were we ever wrong! A while passed, and again we were contacted for another Elders visit. Again we agreed. But this time, we had decided that we were going to tell them what was really bothering us. Much time had passed since I first began researching 607, and I had discovered much more. We began by telling them the above story. And we finished by sharing with them our current findings. Shockingly, when you look up in the literature all the different Babylonian Kings, and the time period from which they reigned, and put it all in order, you have a complete Kings list that is in harmony with Archeology! The Society’s book Babylon the Great Has Fallen-God’s Kingdom Rules 1963 pg. 183-184 puts them all together, and all the Kings are accounted for. And when you read the scriptural accounts in Daniel and the other scriptures, prior to the destruction of Jerusalem, it all fits together, perfectly. There are no gaps of time, and for the first time with the Societies own literature, Archeology and the Bible are hand in hand regarding the date. The only problem was, that it is not 607, but 586/587! Also, when you look at Egypt’s records of their battles, the Battle of Carchemish between Pharaoh Necho II and King Nebuchadnezzar II fits perfectly together with the records Babylon kept record of for that event. When we shared this with the Elders, they looked like they were in shock. We showed them the chart we had made from the Societies literature. We wanted to know why the Society teaches 607 for the destruction of Jerusalem, but when you take all the publications that speak of the different Babylonian Kings and put them all together, you have a list that supports 586/587. Note: If you doubt what we found just look up these Kings in the Insight books for yourself to confirm. There are only 5 Babylonian Kings to research. Just go by the actual Kings, whose names and regnal lengths are known from tens of thousands of cuneiform tablets from many different towns and villages all over Mesopotamia. It is so simple even a child can do the math. You will most likely be as surprised as we were to find that the Society agrees with the list of Kings and their reigns.

(The attached chart is what we shared with the Elders.)

Finally one Elder admitted that “there is no proof for 607”. We were floored that he would say such a thing without doing all the research we had done to come to that conclusion. A family member later said they didn’t believe that the Elder really said this. But we do have proof this was in fact said. Remember that if you take this date away, you undermine the very foundation the organization is based on. If you think it doesn’t matter, then why is it taught so frequently? Because it does matter, and without it, everything is called into question. Why is 607 taught as fact when there is NO PROOF we thought?? In fact the latest book studied at the book study was “What does the Bible Really Teach?” which highlights the importance of this date-607.

After a very long meeting they left promising to get answers for us, and told us that they were going to do the research. One of them said that even if they had to contact the Circuit Overseer, then they would do so, in order to gets the answers. We pleaded that they address all the gossip and lies being spread about us, yet they told us that it was up to us to contact those we feel may have heard these rumors. How would we clear our name without first explaining what our findings were? We told them our concerns for doing so, and that being that the Elders would be upset that we were sharing with others our findings. They seemed not to care. So up until recently, we have kept quiet. But we have now decided it is most appropriate. Meanwhile, we anxiously awaited their return. We waited, and we waited, and we waited. Meanwhile the gossip and rumor mill continued to do its damage in a most feverish pace. Finally 8 months later we received a phone call from the Elders. This call was prompted by a phone call made from an Elder in California who is a family member. Upon him finding that we had still not been contacted after all those months, he wanted to know why. Sadly though, he was told that they had called and called trying to reach us, but we would not return their calls. This was an outright lie!! The Elders know our home phone number; they also know each of our cell phone numbers, and they had our e-mail address. We were never called and no one ever left a message for us to return their call! We had been eagerly awaiting their call, as this was very important to us. Each week that passed, we knew we were not going to hear from them. Weeks turned into months. Prior to our family member calling them, we had not received a call to meet again. Unfortunately though, our family member that phoned in our behalf, chose to believe the Elder, instead of us. You can imagine how betrayed we must have felt. We were shocked and we were angry! Why would they lie??? Looking back on that event, how could we really think it would go any other way? It was at that point that we made the decision that we would not meet again with them. When they did finally call us, Mark asked them if they had found the answers to our questions they said “no”, but we still want to meet. We declined, but told them that if they found any information regarding our questions they could mail it to us, and we would read it. To this day, we have received nothing.

During the 8 months we waited, we discovered yet more shocking things regarding this date taught by the organization. In reading the Insight book Vol. #2 pg. 480 under Nebuchadnezzar, the Society quotes an author by the name of A.K. Grayson, a world renowned expert used to decipher Assyrian & Babylonian Chronicles for the British Museum. The Insight book references him as supporting the date 607. I was shocked, and thought this would be the only place I had ever found a person referencing that date outside of the organization. So immediately I checked out this book from the local library. It took a while as they had to send away to a College University for it. I made copies from that book that I reference below. An interesting note: the Society uses this very book in the Insight Vol.2 under Nebuchadnezzar to support their dates. However, when I finally received the book, I found it was completely misquoted. And the expert said just the opposite of what the Insight book had said. I invite you to check out the book from your library to see this for yourself.

In review of this book and coupled with scriptures we found, which supports these dates perfectly, see for yourself from the chart we made of ,what A.K. Grayson, the expert says happened in 607, and then again in 586/587:

The Seventy Years: 609 to 539 BCE

609- Nabopolassars 17th reginal year. Babylon was dominating all surrounding nations. See Jer. 25:11, 25:17- 26. 27:6-8, 12-13(All the nations will have to SERVE the king of Babylon seventy years.) The 70 years begin. (Babylonian Chronicle 3- BM 21901)

607- Nabopolassars 19th regnal year. Nebuchadnessar was not even in power yet! He was only a crowned prince at this time. (Babylonian Chronicle 4 –BM 22047)

605- Nabopolassars 21st regnal year. Battle of Carchemish , between Egypt and Babylon. Nabopolassar dies, and Nebuchadnezar ascends the thrown. This is year 0 for Nebuchadnezzars reign. Daniel finds himself exiled to Babylon, as well as the Royal offspring of Jerusalem, the utensils of the house of Jehovah were carried to Babylon. See Daniel 1- 2:1. Jer. 29:1,20 (Babylonian Chronicle 5- BM 21946)

603- Nebuchadnezzars second regnal year. See. Dan. 2:1

586/587- Jerusalem burned. Nebuchadnessar’s ninteenth reignal year. See Jer. 52:12-16 (There were still lowly ones left remaining in the city.)

562-End of Nebuchadnezzars reign.

557-Neriglissar’s third regnal year. ( Chronicle 6 –BM 25124)

556- Nabonidus becomes King. (Nabonidus Chronicle 7- BM35382)

539- 70 are fulfilled. Nabonidus is King of Babylon at this time. Cyrus overtakes Babylon in one night. Handwriting on the wall. Jews released from servitude. See- Dan. 5:25-26 Jer. 25: 12 ( Nabonidus Chronicle: Chronicle 7-BM 36304)

As you can see, the Insight book did not reflect the author’s comments. We found this shocking, but would not be the last time we would find such types of inconsistency. The issue of 607 is of course not our only finding. There are many others, which I will not go into in this letter, however they are very real and deserve honest answers as well.

While we waited for the Elder’s return we found that even the Circuit Overseer was involved, investigating these rumors about us through our family, but NEVER, EVER, calling us to see if these rumors were true. We have heard the rumors and they disgust us! Rumors such as: We started our own religion, we are printing literature, and we have started a website, to name just a few. We want you all to know these lies that have been told and spread not only about us, but about my parents, the Alderman's, and the Neet's are just that, LIES! We cannot stress enough that 99.9% of what you have heard is NOT TRUE! We would warmly invite anyone to call us if you want to clear up anything you have heard. After all, is that not what Jehovah and Jesus would expect?

We hope that each and every one of you will respect our decision to examine our faith, as the Watchtower encouraged us to do. (See Watchtower July 15th, 2005 pg.17-19-, The Shrewd One Considers His Steps and Watchtower August 1st, 2001 pg.4-6-, Why Do You Believe What You Believe?) I highly encourage all of you to do the same, as it should only prove to be faith strengthening. I apologize that this letter is not hand written, but due to the fact that I have so many to send out, it would take me forever to hand write each and every one.

Please let me assure you all that we still have a deep conviction for Jehovah God and his Son Jesus Christ. We ARE NOT APOSTATES as we have been labeled. Apostasy according to the scriptures is a person who is the anti-Christ. And we certainly are not that! We still pray, we still read the Bible, and we have inner contentment, knowing that Jehovah and Jesus love us and have hearts that are far bigger then we ever imagined. We have learned a lot about what it truly is to be a disciple of Jesus, and what true love really means.

For those who choose to continue to gossip and slander our name, we will leave that in Jehovah’s hands as we are confident that the outcome will not be pleasant for them. Matthew 7:1,2 clearly states, “Stop judging that YOU may not be judged; 2 for with what judgment YOU are judging, YOU will be judged; and with the measure that YOU are measuring out, they will measure out to YOU.

And for the very few of you who have not chosen to listen, or partake in the rumors you have heard, but who have instead called us to find out the facts, we “Thank you”!! Thank you all for taking the time to read this letter, as we felt it was time to finally set the record straight and to clear our name. If you have

any questions regarding anything we have said here in this letter, please feel free to contact us as we would welcome a letter or phone call from any of you. May Jehovah watch over you and your families.

Sincerely,

Mark & Lisa    

 

When "The Truth" Wasn't the Truth

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

When "The Truth" Wasn't the Truth

A glimpse into my life as a Jehovah's Witness.

I left the Jehovah's Witness faith with my husband and daughter, over 16 years ago, and have never looked back. Never once, have I regretted that decision to leave, even though doing so came with great personal cost. I lost many, that I dearly loved... including many family members. A brother and sister in law, my grandmothers, in-laws, an aunt and uncle, and many cousins. I lost nearly all my friends, even best friends...some of which I had my entire life. All because I chose to no longer be a part of the Jehovah's Witness faith. You see, they teach that if you leave their faith you have left God. In their eyes I am worse than someone who has committed murder, and am shunned as such. The hard reality is the only thing I was guilty of was questioning my faith, and standing up for what I had found to be truth. I'm going to share with you my very real and personal story, of what it was like for me, having been raised as a very active, and strong Jehovah's Witness, and my coming to a life changing decision, when faced with a crisis of conscience.

Having always believed, that I was privileged to have been raised "in the truth", as we referred to it.... even willing to die for my faith, I had come to the shocking realization that I had unknowingly, been living a lie my entire life.  My journey, is not unlike thousands of others who have found out the deception themselves, and who also had to make the same decision, to stay or to go. It was not easy, but in the end it came down to my relationship with Almighty God, and my conscience. Was I going to continue to live a lie because my JW faith was all I ever knew? Was I going to stay, because I knew the consequences of questioning the faith, a forever shunning or casting out from all my family and friends? Or was I going to stand tall for truth?

Some of you who will visit here, know me and know my story. Others will be able to relate, based on what has happened to them personally from similar experiences.  And still others, will no doubt find what I am about to share interesting, surprising, and informative to say the least. I grew up moving around the country living in many different states. I was born in Truckee, California and moved to Kentucky, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Oregon, Washington. That was all before getting married in 1985 where we then moved to Idaho, California, Florida, and now Tennessee. When I tell people where all I have lived, they immediately assume my father must have been in the military. But then I say no, my father was in construction, and I was also a Jehovah's Witness. My father was a Jehovah's Witness elder and my mother pioneered, which consisted of devoting over a 100 hours a month in the door to door knocking ministry. We often moved where the "need was great", meaning where they needed help with their congregations for whatever reason. Not enough elders, not enough people to go out knocking on doors or filling their Kingdom Hall seats.

Despite missing out on many things, I can honestly say I had a wonderful childhood, filled with many happy memories.  My father was a strong man, but he had a very loving, gentle soul. He worked extremely hard for his family, and always drew our attention to God. My mother, was very nurturing and loving, a stay at home mom, who always put her family first, taking care of all five children and supporting my father in all he did. They worked hard, and had a beautiful life together. They loved each other and loved all of us equally, raising us all in the Jehovah's Witness faith, just as they were both brought up. We were happy, we were grounded, and we had great love in our family that many would openly comment that they admired. It wasn't, and still isn't even up to this day, unusual for my siblings or I to openly tell each other "I love you", or to openly say that to our parents, no matter where we are, or who is around. I have always been so grateful for that.

I got married to my husband at just 18, and as traditional, for Jehovah's Witnesses, we married young, and we married within the faith. To marry outside, was highly discouraged, and would put you in bad light within the congregation. Seven years later, we had our precious daughter, and continued to raise her in the way in which we were raised. Jehovah's Witness meetings were held 3 times a week, two of which were 2 hours long, one on Sunday and one on Thursday and one on Tuesday, for 1 hour. Then of course there was our Saturday field service days, which were days we would devote to knocking on doors for at least 2-3 hours every weekend.  We were required to keep track of, and turn in our monthly ministry hours. Which basically meant the total time spent knocking on doors. If we fell below the congregational average we were counseled. So no matter how tired we were, no matter how many other things needed to be done at home, nor what event may be happening we wanted to attend, we always made sure to get those hours in. If you failed to turn in your time, or weren't regular at the meetings, you were looked upon as weak, and bad association for others within the congregation. No one wanted that kind of label, or to be looked down upon, so we fell in line and did what was expected of us. Now looking back its easy and clear to see how we were manipulated through fear to perform. It is the Jehovah's Witness firm belief that there is no other faith acceptable to God on earth, except for that faith. It is taught, and believed, that if you leave, or are not in good standing with the congregation when Jesus returns, then expect to be destroyed with all the other non believers, or those of "false religion" as we called them.  That was what we were taught, and that was what we believed to be true. 

Much more went into being a Jehovah's Witness, such as meeting preparation. All of those magazines, booklets and books that we spent countless hours distributing, we were to study in our down time. We were expected to come prepared to the Kingdom Hall "meetings" as we called them, and be ready to participate, in one form or another. Raising your hand to comment, and if assigned that particular week, prepared to stand in front of the congregation and give, "talks' or sermons. We had our children present with us from infancy, as they didn't provide or believe in any kind of children's programs, so our children learned from an early age to sit still, be quiet and to participate.

We were different. Very different. We couldn't have any deliberate outside association with anyone. That meant no friendships outside of school or work, as outside friends were considered "bad association",  no matter how well versed in the Bible, godly, or sincere a person may be. We weren't allowed to vote, even though we paid our taxes, however, strangely enough, we could take a "vote" within the congregation on matters that pertained to it. We weren't allowed to give blood, and we weren't allowed to take it either, until one day, out of the blue, it was announced at a summer convention through the release of a brochure, that it was okay to take blood fractions. They were still made from blood, and cannot be made synthetically, fractions are made from someone else's donated, stored blood. Suddenly, we could take that, if our conscience would allow, but we couldn't take blood as a whole, as you would in a blood transfusion, nor could you donate your blood for others. In fact, even using products with stored blood in them, for example deer repellent for flower spray, were forbidden. This sudden doctrinal change caused me to take a good hard look at my faith, and to question the reasoning behind the sudden change. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that for my entire life, we couldn't take blood in any form, even in a emergency situation to save our life, or that of our children. Thousands of Jehovah's Witnesses died because of it. Then one day, it was okay, because the Governing Body in Brooklyn Bethel, the small group of men who we believed to be chosen by God, had "okayed" blood fractions for the Jehovah's Witness organization. In my mind, something that has supposedly been from God, as we believed the law on the sanctity of blood, and the law to take it, couldn't possibly be a "no" from God to then one day being "okay". I knew the scriptures said that God does not change. So there was no way our stand on blood was from God to begin with.

We couldn't celebrate the holidays, or birthdays, although we could celebrate baby showers. Celebrating the life of the baby with cake, and gifts were fine at birth, but celebrating the anniversary of that birth, a birthday, was forbidden. We were allowed to have weddings, and celebrate wedding anniversaries, and we were to celebrate the Lord's Evening Meal, the day on which Christ died every year on Niacin 14th.  Our children weren't allowed to play in sports, participate in pageants, and the prospect of college was obsolete, within the Jehovah's Witness faith. Trade schools were frowned upon but tolerated, as was attending community college.  Any hope of furthering your education was met with a strong lecture and council about putting God's Kingdom first and not furthering your education, as getting ahead  financially in this "old system of things", was not putting the Kingdom first. Then, there is all the Jehovah's Witness doctrines that I won't go into, but let just say most everything we were taught I had to reexamine and re adjust my beliefs based on what the scriptures really say. We were also to shun or excommunicate anyone who went against the Jehovah's Witness teachings. We couldn't speak to them, even if they were family members, until they repented, and then were interviewed numerous times by a elder body of 3-6 men that would then determine your heart condition, whether or not your were truly repentant for your wayward way and if they were to allow you back in the congregation. Unlike the mercy Christ Jesus showed, a sincere heartfelt regret of wrong doing was not all it took to be welcomed back into the fold. It depended on the elders that were assigned to your case. Sometimes, many times, this took years. No matter how heartfelt, how much you expressed remorse, you were still at the mercy of these mere men. If you wanted a good standing again, and to be able to associate with your family and friends, no longer being shunned, you were required to attend every meeting, every week, and to come prepared, sit alone, and not attempt to speak to anyone, as surely you would not be spoken to.  Records on each member were kept in a locked congregation file cabinet, for elder use only. As a member you were not allowed to see the file they kept on you. Included were records kept for years of your performance as well as any known sin you may have ever committed, and each file was also sent to the Jehovah's Witness head quarters, in Bethel New York, where they kept a computerized data base on every single member, in every congregation world wide. If you moved, your file was forwarded to the new city, to that new body of elders in the new congregation where you had moved to.  Once baptized, you couldn't never leave, or disassociate yourself without being permanently shunned. The option of leaving the faith no matter the reason, and retaining a good relationship with anyone still in the organization, including your immediate family members didn't exist. The only way to gain those relationships back, were if you were reinstated back in, and all the previous rules would once again apply. It was a way to control and manipulate the members. Fear of loss of family and friends, kept many in line, even those who no longer believed or supported the Jehovah's Witness faith, they still went through the motions. 

Sounds pretty crazy right?! Looking back on it, it was! But when your raised in it, and you don't know any different, and your parents didn't know any different, as was the case for both my husband and I, it was just a way of life. Like I said, we were different, but we were happy because we towed the line.  Because of the fact that we weren't allowed to have outsiders as our close friends, that meant we had many friends within the congregation, and neighboring congregations in many districts. We would have yearly conventions and would know hundred's of people. All living the life, all towing the line, isolated from the rest of the world, as we were proud to be 'no part of it'.

Like so many before me, I wasn't allowed to attend college. So, I did many things to make a living over the years. I waitressed, I got on the job training as a dental assistant, I was an office manager, a substitute teacher, a preschool teacher, and a Realtor. Not in that order, but, lets just say my life wasn't ever boring, as I've had a life of experiencing many things. However, fortunately, my husband did go to trade school where he learned mold making and we eventually had a mold making company as well as a plastics injection manufacturing company. I considered us fortunate, because we always worked as a team to make ends meet. As with anything, there have been lucrative times and there have been financially difficult times, but I believe that the one thing that kept us grounded and together through it all was our deep love and respect for Almighty God.

I have shared this story with you because it will help give you insight as to what my life was like as a Jehovah's Witness, and what the life of most Jehovah's Witnesses you have encountered probably looked like on the inside. This was my life, but very common within the organization. We had very busy lives as you can imagine, centering around our faith. So this sets the stage to my next chapter. How and why did we leave?

My parents were the first to wake up. Their 5 children were all grown, and all but the youngest still lived at home. I started noticing my parents becoming less and less regular at the weekly meetings. Although they owned a salad dressing/bbq sauce business that kept them busy and often on the road, I started to notice a change in them. They didn't seem as strong in the JW faith as they had. They no longer participated at meetings, and were missing more times than they attended. Unbeknownst to me, they were questioning their JW beliefs. After countless hours of research and diligent and heartfelt prayer, they could no longer live a lie. They knew they had to tell their children, and were very scared that they would get be shunned or disfellowshipped, which is the JW term for excommunication, and none of us would be able to communicate with them, for fear that we too would be disfellowshipped for not upholding the JW rules.

Then one day my whole world turned upside down, as my parents unexpectedly dropped by the house to hand deliver, and read a loud a letter which they wrote to each of us children, explaining why they had stopped attending meetings. The letter contained what they had found, proof of their findings, and why they could no longer live the life as a Jehovah's Witness. I was so stunned and scared that my ears rang and I literally heard nothing of what they were sharing with me. My mother begged me to listen, and as a good little brained washed Jehovah's Witness, I refused. In fact, after they left I burned the letter they left with me, never reading it, and from that day forward, for about a year I distanced myself from them. I didn't report them to the congregation elders, as was the custom, when ones would find out others were doubting their faith...but the word got out through one of my siblings who to this day is still in the cult.  There. I said it. It is a cult. 

At this point though, I didn't see it that way. I seriously thought my parents had lost their darn minds. I refused to talk to them about any of their findings and I refused to hear any of their reasons for leaving. I was devastated. Looking back, I'm ashamed that I didn't have more faith in my parents. My loving parents, who had never ever lied to me, or had never been dishonest with me or any one else for that matter. Still, I was programmed to reject their 'findings'. I will never forget telling my 9 year old daughter, "Please don't EVER leave the organization (JWs), even if mommy and daddy do, please never leave! Stay strong so you can get us back in!" It's terrifying to me now, thinking back on what I was asking for!! I didn't know then, what I know now, and I was begging her to stay faithful to a cult! UGH!

One of the stipulations to allowing my parents to have any time with their granddaughter, was that they were not allowed in any way shape or form to speak to her about God, or to speak badly of the Jehovah's Witness faith. They upheld their promise, and so we allowed her to continue spending time with them. My father would always try to gently open doors for conversation with me, and I would always quickly shut them. Of course, all I could do was to pray that they would in time wake up and realize they were going down the wrong path and turn around. I was terrified that my parents were going to be destroyed at Armageddon and that they were greatly displeasing God for leaving the Jehovah's Witness faith.

During this pocket of time, I did my best to hold it together and to go on, despite my parents leaving. There was a huge void in our family, as we all looked up to my parents, who lead the way, all our lives up to that point. All we could do was pray that they would one day 'wake up' and return. Little did I realize, that my whole life was about to change. And change it did! It all started because of a movie.  That's right, a movie, filled with, of all things... very familiar Freemason symbols. 

That brings me to my next post "My Story...."

                                                              ~Peace & Joy,

                                                                      Lisa

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog, Stand Tall for Truth! I'm happy you've landed here! You may find the title a curious one, but after I share my story with you, you will no doubt understand the meaning behind it. But first, before I get into that, let me briefly share a with you, who I am, and why I'm here.

I live in middle Tennessee, in the Bible Belt of the US. I'm a Christian, a wife, and a mother of one.  I'm 54 years young, and I've been happily married for 35 years. We have a lovely daughter who will soon be 27, and who is engaged to a wonderful young man, that we are blessed to welcome into our family.  

The reason for starting this blog, is that since the loss of my beloved father last November, and at the encouragement of others, I have been praying for God to use me.  Isaiah 6:8 says, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" As most of us, I had no idea, what my calling was, or what God had planned for me. So I continued to ask him to light my path, in the way in which he wanted me to go. It wasn't long, and I started to ponder the idea of starting a blog to encourage those who are out there looking for a place to find comfort and hope in this crazy world. Over time, that nudge became stronger and stronger, until I knew it was God speaking to my heart. So here I am! 

If I'm able to be of encouragement by sharing my hope and my story with just one person, then it would be worth all my time and effort spent. I have a lot on my heart that I feel moved to share with all of you, so I hope you stick around so we can get to know one another! I would love for you to introduce yourself and share where your from.

~Peace and Joy,

Lisa